Many a times we deliver a lecture, a presentation or even just a public speech but never try to rate it. We never try to find out whether we were good, bad or worse, what the positive points were and what the negative points were. Even if we do it is not sure that we would get any genuine feedback especially if the seeker is the boss or superior of the person seek. But seeking feedback is one of the most important things to do if you want to improve. In electrical engineering, feedback loops are often used to keep the system under control and to make it robust. So should it be in the real world. Any time there is a possibility to seek the feedback it is best to seek. At the same time give the most genuine feedback to those who seek it. (You may have to make a disclaimer about the frankness :) ).
Samuel Johnson once said "Advice is seldom welcome. Those who need it most like it least." The same is true with feedback too. We would rather be happy with false praise than be rescued with true feedback. We should try to come out of this mentality and seek feedback so that we improve ourselves.
Seek feedback about your positive points, your negative points and seek feedback on how you can improve yourselves. Listen to everyone around, make a list on what they suggest, analyze them and make a plan for yourself to improve. You would be happy that you did so.
I seek genuine feedback on how this article went. I am sure I would get more negative points than positive, but I hope to improve myself in the coming ones. I followed "Write drunk, edit sober" formula. Hope I would get back and edit this sometime.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Wedding clashes!
Recently a lot of my friends got married. I was closely involved with the wedding proceedings of couple of them. In the process I found out that wedding time is a time of clashes. Elders think that bride and bridegroom dont listen to them and dont have enough respect for the rituals that go on at the wedding. Kids think that the rituals are ridiculous especially in this age. It got me thinking whose mistake is it that there exists this kind of difference? Do kids really condescend the rituals? So I asked them why, if they , condescend the rituals. Primary reason I got is, it is old style, its baseless and mostly why are they even there? What is their significance? So I went and asked elders what their significance is, and interestingly they dont know the answer. They did it in their marriage and so they want their kids to do it in their marriage. Why, dont ask, we cant answer such questions. You folks dont have respect for our culture. Wow! I thought. Just because you cant answer our questions, you lead to the conclusion that we dont have respect for culture. phew!
I strongly believe that the rituals exist for a reason. No civilization creates something unless they believe there is a reason. The reason may be absurd, but there would be a reason. It may not be a rational one but still there should be a reason. Unfortunately our curiosity to question and find out the reason has diminished and so did the duty of passing those details down to your next generation. If only our parents have found out why they are doing the rituals and answered our questions, may be the difference in the opinion on the rituals wont have been there. I ventured into and found out few of them and believe it or not, they make sense (at least when you put them in to the time line they were created). One can do a full phd on the rituals that happen just in a marriage.
How many of you know why there are games after the wedding in which both the bride and the bridegroom have to participate? How many of you know why apply turmeric and sandalwood to everyone who attends a hindu wedding? Why do they tie three knots? What do those vows mean? Not many people know the meaning. There are several of such small rituals that crept into our culture for a reason. If anyone is interested in either questioning or answering the questions posed, please do so. I would love to continue this discussion over to other topics too.
On a side note, ever heard of the saying, never clean your ears at night? Why do you think it exists?
I strongly believe that the rituals exist for a reason. No civilization creates something unless they believe there is a reason. The reason may be absurd, but there would be a reason. It may not be a rational one but still there should be a reason. Unfortunately our curiosity to question and find out the reason has diminished and so did the duty of passing those details down to your next generation. If only our parents have found out why they are doing the rituals and answered our questions, may be the difference in the opinion on the rituals wont have been there. I ventured into and found out few of them and believe it or not, they make sense (at least when you put them in to the time line they were created). One can do a full phd on the rituals that happen just in a marriage.
How many of you know why there are games after the wedding in which both the bride and the bridegroom have to participate? How many of you know why apply turmeric and sandalwood to everyone who attends a hindu wedding? Why do they tie three knots? What do those vows mean? Not many people know the meaning. There are several of such small rituals that crept into our culture for a reason. If anyone is interested in either questioning or answering the questions posed, please do so. I would love to continue this discussion over to other topics too.
On a side note, ever heard of the saying, never clean your ears at night? Why do you think it exists?
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