Rational Communication

Many a times simple communication can solve a lot of problems. Situations that fall into this category occur almost everyday. A little patience and expressing yourself and listening to others completely would help clear up a lot of misunderstandings and bad feelings. The key point is, though, to listen with your head in right place. Many a relationships could have been saved if only the parties involved would listen to each other.
Take for example a couple, wife and husband. Husband is at work attending a meeting. Wife is at some place trying to get back home by bus. She is not sure if she missed the bus. She calls up husband, who is on a phone meeting. Knowing that she is probably calling for an urgent reason, he picks up the call. She tells him, she thinks she missed the bus and wants him to pick her up. He says he is in the middle of a meeting, it would get over in another 15 mins and then he would come and pick her up. She says if you start in another 15 mins, it is going to take another 15 mins to reach here. I need to wait for 30mins. At this point, he tells her, there is nothing he can do; either she has to wait or find out some other way to get home. She gets angry and hangs up.
This is a typical scenario. Husband at work, wife somewhere trying to get husband's attention. It is understandable that girls need attention. But girls need to think whether in their pursuit of attention from their boys, they are distancing themselves. No guy would like a girl if she is encroaching it into his space.
Lets breakdown the incident described earlier:
Wife is desperate at the bus stop since she doesnt know whether she missed her bus. If she did, she is concerned how she is going to get home. So she calls husband to ask him to pick her up, but mainly to share her insecurity at the bus stop. From an outsider and fair perspective, she has two choices. Wait and see if she missed the bus. Wait for her husband to come and pick her up. Or call another friend or cab which would take about same time as for her husband to come and pick up. So no matter what she has to wait. Hence there is no need to argue with her husband about 15 more minutes that she has to wait if she starts after 15 mins. And especially so if he is in a meeting. She should understand that and not argue it.
Lets take another example. Husband doesnt like shopping. Wife loves it. Husband thinks it is total waste of time while it is an activity, kind of must for wife. Husband gets dragged inevitably to shopping mall. Everywhere he goes he shows no interest in being there, doesnt participate in shopping, doesnt show any interest to talk to wife and nags about being in the shopping mall. Is this not common? What can we do about it?
Well, lets see. First, what are your alternatives? Send her alone? It is pretty obvious that if it is possible, you would try it on. Lets say you eliminated all your possible tactics to escape going with her. Now what? Step back and think about it. What are you really achieving by sulking there? The more you sulk, the more she is worried. She has to divide her attention, enthusiasm and energy between looking at you and her shopping list. She is looking for your reassurance (probably the most expected thing by girls) just about everything, shoes, dress etc. And you are standing there sulking, yeah, ok, whatever kind. The best thing to do is, now that you are already there and have no way out, work with her, tell her your opinion, expedite the process so that she makes her decision faster and you can be out faster. Search the store for her if required. It shows you are interested in her, and would help you get out of there faster. May be you can use this next time saying remember I came with you last time and I was interested, can we take an exception today? something like that.
On the other hand, you could probably talk before you go to mall about what you are going to buy, how much time you willing to spend there, etc. This would give you a perspective of whether you are doing on time, spending more than what you wanted. If you see it overrunning, you can hint her about it. Wife on the other hand should realize that her husband is at shopping mall with her against his will for her. She shouldnt take advantage of it and extend the time as long as she wants. She needs to be considerate. She should realize that he would come more often with her if she sticks with what she promised at home before starting. Simple communication like this and sticking to it would help in a longer run. You would develop respect for each other, the love you had will always remain and you would have that spark going on and on.